in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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