I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
