apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He had one of those small greek statue penises
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
