I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
