at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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