We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
