Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
