I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
