Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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