the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
