susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
