Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
