You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
