If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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