Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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