I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
