Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just gargled with NyQuil
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
