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Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
