Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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