it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
