you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
