girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
