Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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