i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
