why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
