I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
