i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
