If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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