I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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