you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
