I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
