That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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