so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
