I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
