he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
