"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wear drunk well.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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