i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she looked like the before picture.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
