GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
