how do flat chested girls get laid?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
