i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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