I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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