8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
