My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
