2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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