went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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