I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
im holly from the hills drunk
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
