If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
