im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
