dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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