did you get engaged???
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
