eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
