just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
