I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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