Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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